I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just high enough for therapy.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
