what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
