There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
