well I can't set my house on fire every night
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
