I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
