i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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