You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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