Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
