It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
