I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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