Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Drake has all the answers
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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