Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he thought i was a dude.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
