the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
