I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
