no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
