went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
