If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
