i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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