Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
