IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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