remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
