eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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