I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
