I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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