Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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