just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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