There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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