So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
