Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
