I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize