Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
