What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
