Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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