i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
