bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
