We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
