I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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