Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
