I am puke
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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