Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
