I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just invented taco cereal.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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