Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Welp...herpes.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
