I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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