Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
