She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
