I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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