So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
