I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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