I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
