Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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