My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize