Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize