Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize