ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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