Apparently you make a good broom.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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