i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Randomize
