Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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