nut hugger
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i drank out of a bidet.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
