the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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