Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
